undespicable.hatred.lies

i'm not feeling too good .. or rather,
not good at all lately. i don't know why.
lost mood for practically everything.
INCLUDING DOTA. how cool is that.
ya "wow finally u get the chance to quit dota for good"
dumb fucks, if i don't even have the mood for that..
can u image what fuck-tarded crap i'm going through

i feel as if.. if i were to channel all my hatred.
i can create a void powerful enough to destroy even the toughest fighters around.
i feel simply.. annoyed.hate.frustration.
i feel cheated.
i feel weak.
i feel as if this whole world is made out of lies.
and that everyone puts up a mask everyday.

i want to destroy everything.
i want to kill something.
i want to STAB some fucker in their chest so hard.
i want to shove a gun down my own throat and pull the trigger
slowly and gently.

i.just.hate.everything.kthxbai.

to past the time,

well, as most of u know...

jianyau had a week off from college!!!..

sadly.. or happilly i dont know, its coming to an end!

well this holidays for me...

has not really productive =.="
haven't been revising much LOL thou i know..

i need lotsa catching up,

ESPECIALLY ON MY GODDAMN CHEMISTRY!!!

oh wells =)

hasnt been a total waste thou.

met some pretty cool ppl on blueserver, joined a new clan

this clan leader is a pretty cool dude =)

besides that, well i get to do some patching up with some ol' friends, new friends

things i never knew i would do. i did

went to hartamas square for the 1st time haha

saw a frikkin HUMMER there.. god it was huge.. number plate "TV 3"

well, met some new friends there. if i'm not mistaken, they are Mr. Ivan and Jack haha

said somethings i never thought i would've.

i'm glad i did, to her if ur reading this post, i hope we are best friends forever =) i miss you!

aside from that.. met up with some ol' frens!

one of em is AMIR ZHAFRIIIII YOOOOO

hahaha this cool dude/player got a new ride yo, frikkin neo .

mang i hate these ppl with new car @@" make me jealous T_T

well..

HIS PIC NOT HENSEM NOT WORTH LOOKIN AT HEHEHEHHEEEHEHE

hey joking ^_^

also met up with .... SERENA CHUA!!!.. this one fortunately.

snapped a shot with her x)

such a sweet lookin girl right!!! =p

this girl arr i tell u, FFK me dono howww many times <_>

at last got to see her haha. the week before she start lectures.

well serena, ALL THE BEST !!! =)

&&

got to meet up some people i knew for sometimeeee..!!

just never had the chance to see them in person =)

well here they are!!

tadaaaaa!!! hahaha

MISS EMO NEMO!! and MISS PIKYIE!

two very very nice girls =)

sorry ya didnt have much time to catch up with u girls T_T

i actually drove for 2 and a half frikkin hours to look for emo nemo's house in USJ 11 T_T omg i tell you

i hate HATE hate... subang roads =.="

well at least she enjoyed the carbonara in williams . haha YES

I DROVE HER ALL THE WAY FROM SUBANG BACK TO MAYANG THEN SUBANG AGAIN!

gah! oh well =) the things i do for youuuuuuu =(

and ofcourse!@!! MISS PIKYIE!

such a doink ><>

very very VERY good company.. u can talk to her bout almost ANYTHING

i hope i get to meet up with u girls again sometime soonnn,

i'm glad we got the chance to meet up!

well basically that's about my whole week of holidays!

yeap! wasted down the drain stoning at home playing dota and listening to music.

how lifeless T_____T

AND OH BDW, RAFFICK'S COMING BACK ON 29TH!!! ehehe

raffick i mish you =/ come home fasterrrrrrrrr grrr ;_;

well folks, that's all fer nowwww.

the next update is comin' up soooooon andddd...

it'll be on .. PAPA'S 50TH BURFDAY!!!

YESH! me papa is turning 50 tonight at 12 =)

till then, signing out

jy

girl in the summer =)

SHE'S DOIN FINE! makes me happy when i think bout it hehe

i miss her alot, i hope she doesn't read this huu huu

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet............. *drum rolls*

MS. TAN WEN TING!!!!

HAHAHA dont ask where i got this pic from LOL

she gona kill me upon seeing this.

Wentingz ! =)

she's such a funny girl, never had a dull moment with her around hehe

she broke my heart u know =(

i didn't get to see/talk to her the 2 weeks before she left for aussie, *sighs*

oh wells, seems that things are better now haha

she settled down well, back to her old lazy and lame attitude =p

and u know what???

wenting : i can cook =p
jianyau : really??? what u cook, meat vege?
wenting : i cook rice lar
jianyau : WTF? rice????? that's not cooking. anyone can put rice&water into rice cooker =.="
wenting : my brother do the rest of the cooking!

.....she's uber lazy i tell u

but she's very pretty and a good company =)

i miss the times we spent together when she was back here in PJ
WENTINGZ!!! faster come back le.. i miss u =(

she treated me chocolate banana cake lar. maybe thats why i miss her so much hehe =)

wentingz i hope u come back soon, i wanna see u again =(
*sighs*

since she went aussie she became disgusting =.=

i wont tell what she said =p

but seriously.. HAHAHAHA i can laugh when i think bout it man

take care wentingz u lazy bimbo =p

hope to see u soon!!!! miss u XOXO

signing out,

jy

PS:

-come back soon dear-

Have you Ever felt like a total loser?

have u ever fell in love with a person u always shared ur problems with?

someone that u keep telling ur friends that "she's like my buddy =) " and all that blablabla crap

someone whom u feel as if she's a total stranger, so unfamiliar with her that u never felt a worry spilling to her.

someone who, somehow is always there for you to tell her bout this other person that u "like" and stuff.

well,

Don't you see,

don't you see,that the charade is over?

And all the "Best Deceptions" and "Clever Cover Story" awards go to you.

it just feels as if God is playing with ur feelings.

i mean, she's supposed to be a stranger u tell ur sad stories too and all.

i just didnt expect something like this to happen.

and now i'm in a state of denial, trying to tell myself that its just "a random feeling" cuz she's always here to listen.

meh, it just made things worse.. didnt it? ongjianyau. U fool.

now i feel so lost.

and its getting weird now, cuz since this feelings and thoughts appeared,

i find it so hard to talk to talk to her lately..

i miss her.

i hope she's doin fine now =)

i just wanna talk to her again.

i just wanna end this post before it gets all sad and turning into some bitch post.

and i'm such a loser

signing out,

jy

a song to spare and a feeling to share

Cauterize - Why This Last Dance

As we dance,

Here in this empty apartment

Echoes of laughter

Long live here after

Put your memories in boxes

Cut all your losses

Romance left this place long ago

If these walls could talk

Then they'd tell me it's time to go

You gave this place so much colour

I don't know why I did not see that before

You gave life to this place

Without you it's empty space

As we kiss,

Knowing that it's our last one

Pull the sheets from the mattress,

Sleep hasn't found us

Tear the curtains from the window let the world see this last dance

And now,

Look what is left for us

Turn all the lights out

Lock the door behind us

You gave this place so much colour,

I don't know why I did not see that before

You gave life to this place,

Without you it's empty space

Someone else can hang pictures over the holes in the walls.

Duck and take cover from the screams in the hall.

Sing you to sleep when you're hurt from the fall

And somehow I will miss this... all

Let's burn this place down

Scatter the ashes

Paint it with gasoline

Start throwing matches

Somewhere in this wreck remains dying love

V i n c e n t I z D a B o m b =.="

QUOTE OF THE DAY BY VINCENT
CHUA!!

Vincent : eh jianyau, can borrow 10 bucks ar? i lost my money lar cibai..

Me : oh.. ok.

Me : .... wait....

Me : wait.. WAT THE FUCK! ! i just remembered! u still owe me 10 bucks from last month! pay back now!!!! machibai!!! WOI FUCKER DONT RUN!

i tell you man, vincent is one sad case =.=

he never fails to remind ppl of the cash he owed them haha

upon hearing our conversation, the other guys at the foosball table started claiming their cash back from him LOL

VINCENT U SUCK!!!! AHAHAHHAHAA

joking!!! , he gona whack me in coll 2moro xD

My life, Ep.2 " The ol' times "

why do people enjoy going school and college..
isit because, they get to see their friends?? or maybe.. to see their dear lecturers and fill their heads with EDUCATION?!
what if...

what if i gave u a reason not to..
a reason why i dont wanna go to college anymore..
maybe.. maybe its because all my days spent in college..
every single second during the breaks and stupid exams..
i try to avoid HER.. goddamnit it sucks i tell you
even the thought that i might just BUMP, into her.. makes me sick, to the stomach

well of course there are the people that REALLY.. and i mean REALLYREALLY.
makes ur day all better haha.
allow me to introduce you toooooo..!!!!

TADAA~~~~

HAHAHA frikkin VINCENT CHUA! shit man i tell you

this is one motherfucking cunt i tell you.. he's always there to bug u and..

well, thats all he does LOL.

he's one cool dude...err.. well.. lol.. cough.. well he's basically just a tall,

walking talking.. joker =) that's vincent chua for you!

&&&...

then we have our superduperwooperultra shweeet Chan mei ling!

mei ling, if your reading this i just want you to know, without u by my side in college everyday,

i would probably be so lost..

thank you for all the times u have been there for me..

i wish i can repay you in some way =)

WELL OFCOURSE. the TAIKOs and the faggot foosballers of student centers! haha

these lifeless jokers are always there to cheer me up by cracking the dirtiest and silliest jokes.

what is college without u fags man hahaha!

thanks guys, for all the times u have been there for "spoil" my day hahai dont know what i'll do in college without u guys

well cut the sentimental crap, its time for some happenings in college =)
FIRST!!! allow me to introduce to you...

MISSSSSSS PANGGGGGGGGGG!!!
hahaha my favourite Maths A teacher =)
she's such a sweet lady, always putting up with me and vincent's nonsense in class
teacher!!! dont lou hei ok? me promise study hard liao!!!

weellll here is another cool teacher i know =) mr Lee !!! haha he's so funny okay.. youthful spirit in an elderly form!
he is lately, constantly forcing me to join frikkin soccer match =.=
wadahell lar teacher.. MUFY this year so noob waste time nia =D
and well, to end todays blog!!! i shall show some random shots i took

well these are the funny moments =)
other times.. the whole world just feels like this.

things will only get better,

just hold on and put up a smile for the world to see..
let time work its wonderful magic once again.

till then, hope u guys enjoy reading this senseless post,

god bless u people,

and as for my buddies, I MISS YOU GUYS!
u know who u are , till next timeeee

jianyau signing out.

tata =)

E M O P O S T

I HATE YOU

I HATE YOU

I HATE YOU

HATE YOU

HATE YOU

HATE YOU

HATE

HATE

HATE

forallthetimesiwasthereforyou,

fromfetchingyouhomebecauseiwassofuckingworriedutookoffalonefromKL,

fromskippingclassesjusttofindyouandaskyouHOW ARE YOU.

forthetimesisacrificedmuchofmytimejusttotalktoyouandknowyouarealright.

forthehopesthatyougaveme,

onlytoleavemeindespair .

FOR ALL THE FUCKING TIMES I WAS THERE FOR YOU WITHOUT SELF CONCIOUS OR THINKING BOUT MYSELF

oneword.. ihateyoufromthebottomofmy heart.somuchforthegoodchatsandgoodmusicwesharedbutyouarefullofliesanduglinessbehindthatprettyfaceyouputup

First post, my life.

this is my first ever post, i've finally started blogging because i really feel the need to express myself in a way where no one can change its ugly past and present. my wish is that

To those who reading this blog of mine;

somehow in someway would feel the same, or at least understand what i'm going through.

To start things of,

well... sadly i'm quite a "not so creative" person LOL.i guess i shall start with my daily life, YES .. my day at college and the people i see everyday.i guess giving speeches at this rate is prolly gon' make u guys feel sleepy so.. skip the words, here are some pics!

well that's how things are during the early morn' in my college. it sucks when u gotta stone for hours waiting for lectures.. and i came early for some FCKING parking, so all i have is my dear ipod and my songs.. i tell you, goddamn those monash whores. cuz of them i gotta wake up frikkin early to FIGHT for parking.. soon gonna be warzone in college parking lol.

and so i just stare at empty faces in the morning , well yeah call me a loner.

and ofcourse, all the lovely lovely people i see in college everyday =)

have u ever felt at times, that ur alone in this world and life just goes like this.

that's how i feel everyday in my life. emptiness and loneliness...

well the trip home from college sure is an exciting one, i get a chance to reflect on myself.. thinking what i did wrong for today or what i have to do soon..

its always good to have sometime alone..

well guys, so much for first post..

i hope i this lil pics showed u guys a thing or two in my everyday life..

quote of the day..

fill your day with hopes and expect miracles in life.

till then, goodbye =)